The Fort Dodge Messenger: Aug. 1, 1906

Mock Wedding Occurs

Excursionist Enjoy Mock Ceremony on Train Returning From Clear Lake Monday Night.

A prominent salesman for one of the leading business houses of this city, who has been termed William R. and a well known young lady, Miss Lizzie J. were united in marriage by Rev. C.E.W. between Thornton and Swaledale, on the return trip from Clear Lake Monday evening. The ceremony was performed in the presence of a number of their friends who enjoyed the affair to the full extent of a joke.

After the ceremony the tables were spread with delicious refreshments, consisting of picnic cake and Clarion rice. Friends of the young couple served the supper after which toasts were offered. Among those who spoke were some of the best speakers in Fort Dodge, who luckily happened to be on the train. Following are two of the toasts:

“Mr. Wm. R. – As you have entered upon the state of wedlock and are no longer a merry bachelor, formally, the butt of my crude jest, I must address you in a tone of greater gravity than has been my custom, but Mr. Wm. R I do wish to congratulate you upon this desirable change that you have made and it gives evidence that you have good judgment and much good taste. Mrs. Wm. R., I hope you will find Mr. Wm. R. as loyal a husband as you have a true friend.”

“To one piece of dark piazza add a little moonlight. Take for granted two people. Press in two strong ones a small soft hand. Sift lightly two ounces of attraction, one of romance; add a large measure of jolly; stir in a floating ruffle, and one or two whispers , dissolve half a dozen glances in a well of silence. Dust in a small quantity of hesitation, one ounce of resistance and two of yielding. Place the kisses on a blushing cheek or two lips; flavor with a slight scream and set aside to cool. This will succeed in any climate if directions are carefully followed.”

As the groom failed to have in his possession the much needed license, the marriage was declared null and void. The wedding proved a pleasant diversion to what might have been a tedious ride.

Tags: 1906